If there’s one thing I’ve been as a fan of Lost, it’s fickle. I admit it. I loved and raved about the first two seasons, then bitterly complained about the feet-dragging of Season 3. Every time we had a Kate episode, I hoped it would end in her death, but then as soon as we got a Ben or Locke episode, everything was forgiven. I liked Hurley, except when it was an always-boring Hurley episode. This season has felt like nothing but moving chess pieces around the island, but then we got our one and only Richard episode and I raved about the stellar acting and writing on the show.

So maybe all the fans like me should get what we really deserve: A great big flipping off from the show’s writers. It seems unlikely, but perhaps the whole point of that extra half hour that’s just been added to the finale might be to allow the writers to get their revenge on all the things fans have ranted about over the past six years. And here’s the thing: I’d respect them a lot more if they did any one of these things rather than give us something boring and predictable. Here are a few ways I’d suggest they fill up that extra half an hour.

1. Riding with Freckles. Evangeline Lilly’s rumored retirement from acting was a smokescreen to throw fans off the scent. This season’s worst episode featured Kate driving around in a taxi, and I was immediately suspicious. Smells like a spin-off. The extra half hour of Lost? A shoehorned-in pilot for Riding with Freckles, a show about literally moving characters from one place to another. Season 6 has certainly shown us the writers know how to do that.

2. Razzle Dazzle. For the most part, Lost has deftly handled a constantly-growing cast during its run, with one notable exception. Nikki and Paolo immediately sent fans like me into a tizzy about how terrible the characters were and how clumsily they were inserted into the show. So in the finale, not only is it revealed that Nikki and Paolo are central to the mythology, but the final words of the final episode of Lost are, in fact, “Razzle Dazzle.”

3. “Way-ah’s ma buy-bee!” If there are two characters more annoying than Kate, it’s Season 2′s versions of Claire and Michael. Stick Claire and the ghost of Michael in Room 23 and have nothing but a half hour of the two of them screaming “Walt!” and “Way-ah’s ma buy-bee!” at the camera while a video of Fonzie jumping the shark plays in brainwash-o-vision in the background. Bonus if the room is decked out with the red curtains and black-and-white checkerboard floor from the Twin Peaks finale and Michael and Claire are screaming their lines backwards.

4. It WAS all a dream, and it WAS about purgatory. The earliest fan speculation for how to explain Lost was that all the characters were in purgatory (hence all those early deaths that seemed to come immediately on the heel of characters making some kind of peace with themselves) or that the show was all a dream from Hurley’s head. After years of denying those rumors, it turns out they’re both true. Start the show with fifteen minutes of Hurley eating a burrito and watching a documentary on the history channel about the Catholic Church’s view on purgatory. End it with drawings of all the Lost characters scrolling over his snoring dome, a la Super Mario Bros. 2.

5. Tattoo. Turns out the ultimate point of the show is to not get tattoos because you might regret them some day. 30 minutes of Jack Shepherd getting laser tattoo removal while Bai Ling yells at him in un-subtitled Thai.